13 January, 2011

Holy Hell

This beats the FUCK out of blogging about Sherlock Holmes.

I'll tell you what's wrong about all these people: They're too perfect. Since when is actual, physical sex about perfection? Not. Fucking. Ever. It's about "Ouch" and "Sorry" and "Hey, you wanna do this" and falling off of the bed and getting rug burns. So, kiss my ass, you amateur performance artists and your perfect chair sex world, because that isn't any world where actual people are actually fucking.

Sex is a Woodie Allen movie more than it's a Zack Snyder movie.

Also, Dear "Red Hot Chili Pussy," It isn't 'air sex' if there are two of you! That's like air guitar with a guitar! That's cheating! Fuck you! Fuck your mother!

Anyways, my air-fucking song would mos-def be to "Silver Lining" by Rilo Kiley. Fuck you if you're too hip to get down to that album. That's a fucking wonderful album.