30 June, 2010

Grim and Gritty


That's how I like my vikings, even if they are supposed to be harmless children's cartoons.

(Art by Tom Fowler. Found on Comic Twart.)

One More Before Bed


Numero 93 May 2008: Edita Vilkeviciute by Solve Sunsbo.

(also tracked down via the LJ's. What are the odds?)

Variations on a Theme


"Wait Until Dark." W JŠ°nuary, 2008, Hilary Swank by Steven Klein.

(hunted down via the LJ's.)

Hey Say You Brade Runnah


"Replicants are like any other machine - they're either a benefit or a hazard. If they're a benefit, it's not my problem."

Paul Pope


If you haven't heard it from me or someone else, Paul Pope is a fantastic comic artist.


And Sergio Leone knows how to make a good movie.

My Future Bathroom

Welcome to the prototype of the future Kislingbury Compound's master bathroo-- Hey! What's that woman doing in there! Get her out of there! Women have no place in my prototype bathroom! She'll contaminate the whole enterprise!

I love tile work. I love it because it not only looks good, but like brickwork or rockwork it's one of those thing you only ever see in old houses because it costs too damn much to not only do it, but to find someone competent enough to do it. Someday.

29 June, 2010

Inside Rick Rubin's Head


(My computer is a dick. Click on this link.)

A Painting I Saw Today


"Portrait of a Peasant (Patience Escalier)" by Vincent van Gogh. 1888.

28 June, 2010

Bill Clinton, "Nuke the Gulf!"


Okay, maybe those weren't his exact words.

(via War is Boring.)

27 June, 2010

Rushmore


Rushmore was a turning point for me. That and The Big Lebowski. And maybe Clerks.

There's a bunch of movies that probably changed the way I look at things, that broadened my horizons, but Rushmore is more certainly on the upper crust of that list. My life, as it stands, would not, could not, be the same without the movie Rushmore. It's just impossible.

I remember when I first heard about Rushmore. It came out the same month that the Laemelle 7 opened up down the street. At first I had no idea what that theater was about. They didn't show any movies I had ever heard about and their lobby was decorated with even more movies I had never heard about, but they were in French, Italian, and German. What kind of movie theater was that? Movies were something I understood as what I would later call mass media. They weren't these obscure pieces of art that the Laemelle was showing.

But, then I started seeing ads on TV for this movie Rushmore. It stared Peter Venkmen and it seemed strange enough, yet funny enough, to meet my need as a movie. It was a turning point for me, I guess. Not that Rushmore met that need, but it hit me at a certain time and at a certain angle that it scored a hit. It stuck. Man on the Moon was another one of those movies that hit the younger me. That movie didn't stick with me like Rushmore did, but they were both a part of this emotional wave I had where I wanted to see movies that weren't about aliens wrecking shit or Bruce Willis blowing something up.

Rushmore, when it came out, was an incredibly attractive film. I said as much to my dad and he agreed. We never saw it in the theaters. It wasn't until a couple of years later that I saw the movie with my sister Amy (who also showed me my first Coen brothers movies and Casino and Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown and a whole other crop of movies which escape me right now). From the moment I finished that movie, my life was better. It was funny and sad and clever in a way I had always felt was possible, but had never seen and had never put words to.

Rushmore, when I finished watching it on VHS tape on Glenarm, I was in love.

And that's all there is to say about that without sounding like a romantic jackass. The past, I've always felt, is for jackasses.

Mrs. Kislingbury


It's a shame we're going to get that divorce.

C'est la vie.

Post Script: I probably should have never said to my blonde, short girlfriend that I thought dark haired, tall girls were what I thought was truly attractive. I'm terrible about that kind of thing. Being a boyfriend, I mean and, eventually, a husband.

(via Baubauhaus.)

It's a Bit Like This


I should get around to watching a Tartovsky movie one of these days.

I spend so much time watching movies where people blow up or punch each other in the head that I feel like I'm missing out on something. I guess I always feel like that. There's so much out there to learn about and to know about, but I've never gotten around to most of it. As much as I love people getting kicked in the head, I realize there's a bit more to life than that (though, people getting kicked in the head, or wherever, is a pretty important aspect of life, I think).

One of these years I suppose I should make time for the more well thought out parts of our nature. There is a lot of it, after all.

What Don Draper Dreams


This would have made a much better poster for season 4. Could use slightly more brooding, though.

(via Fantasy Ink.)

Comics for Kids


Go suck on an egg, Alan Moore. This is how it's done.

(via Comic Twart.)

26 June, 2010

A Kaleidescope of Dreams


I'd like to think of this video as one big, digital metaphor for being between the ages of 11 and 18, as opposed to being a document of one fat, fucking 14 year old's lameness. Only then can I feel any pleasure about this video.

No, wait, scratch that. It's still pretty funny.

25 June, 2010

Watch out, Itchy!


He's Irish!

YOU SON OF A BITCH

Dead as Fuck


Michael Jackson. 1958-2009.

23 June, 2010

Fires on the Plain





I'll write something on this soon.

21 June, 2010

The Pale Horse Rides Again!

Wandering Star from Anthony Hays on Vimeo.


I went to high school with the guy who directed this (and the guy who assistant directed this). Watch it. Make me feel important by association.

Do this for me.

19 June, 2010

METAL GEAR?!


I love this song. Even if there's no appropriate reason to play this song other than killing your own brother while simultaneously averting a nuclear apocalypse, I still love it.

I remember I put it on a mix CD for someone. I didn't add it because it was appropriate, I added it because I knew it was a good song and maybe, just maybe, it would catch on with them. It didn't. That's fine. It wasn't the best format to pull off a move like that, but it was worth a shot. It's a beautiful song. It's one of those songs I only like to listen to on a rare occasion because I don't want it to become mundane. It's a special song to me and it represents a special time in my life that will never return and the fact that this beautiful song isn't in English only makes it better.

What is she singing about? I never want to know, because it'll never be as wonderful as what I think she's singing about in my mind.

METAL GEAR?!


Even now, as I read Kafka, Kipling, and McCarthy and watch films like Lawrence of Arabia and Hiroshima, Mon Amor and Fitzcarraldo, I still come back to the low-brow, B-movie, pulp-action sensibilities of Metal Gear Solid as a reference to what I want my writing to look like.

Even though it veers into babel an wankery, I still marvel at the characters and scenarios that game series creates and then injects into a very real world, one that looks not unlike our own. It's a model I wish I was capable of-- minus the drunken staccato, for year long gaps, and bizarre digressions. At their core, the Metal Gear Solid series is fun and still manages to find the time and space to be philosophical. I love Call of Duty, but there isn't a single moments reflection or meditation on morality in that entire series.

If anything Metal Gear Solid is too smart for its own good-- a genius series trapped in a moron's medium.

I'm drawn to all of this because I'm an idiot, inexorably drawn to trash. But I guess there's worse things to be, right?

Right?

18 June, 2010

World's A Mess: It's In Tibet

It seems to me that China never gets pissed off over anything worthwhile. They're never busting child molesters or actual terrorists, they're always pissed off about people fucking more than one person at a time or someone impugning the serenity of their highway system or someone else used the phrase "elected government." Or, in this case, they're pissed off at Tibetans, for being conquered by the Chinese of all reasons.

In this particular case the Beijing government has started to crack down (political/news slang for arrest on fabricated charges) on moderate Tibetans.

Of course, Beijing has a bit to be worried about right now. There's been massive protests and calls for an increased minimum wage by unions and, if you know the Chinese government like I know the Chinese government, people organizing and demanding things is not something they're huge fans of. It makes them nervous and like some sort of retarded child, they're only response is to break things and blame it on someone else.

Overall the Chinese government kind of strikes me as the new kid in class. He doesn't know where he stands among the jocks, the cheerleaders, the art kids, and the stoners, so he tries to make a big show to everyone. He wants them to think he's cool, except that he's still the same crazy kid who had to move when his dad got a new gig with the Air Force. So, his home life isn't great, he's got a couple of step-brothers who don't like him and the people he is directly related to don't respect him either, so when he gets into school, he starts making up these stories about how rad he is and he shows off in sports and whatever else he can, but behind all of the bravado and fireworks, he's just this broken, confused little kid who can't quite figure out how to wear pants that fit him and that his mustache looks like a caterpillar died on his face.

Someone forward this to China. I think it might do some good.

One of the Old Gaurd


"Le Grenadier," Jean Baptiste Edouard Detaille (1847–1912).

The Geniuses of Death


A caricature from the Frenco-Prussian War.

Who says the French aren't funny?

(via BibliOdyssey)

You've Been Reading My Dream Diary Again

Don't Ride With a Mad Woman


So, I just saw this blog post and it got me thinking about race, police brutality, and all the rest of the things you think about when you get a sketchily edited video on the internet of a cop punching a 17 year-old black woman in the face. It mostly got me thinking about how stupid people can be, even in the face of something as obvious and not shoving an officer.

Someone getting punched in the face for acting a fool isn't something to write your congressman about. It's not a tragedy, but it is something to get worked up over, if only for the ten seconds you're on the Yahoo home page before you check your e-mail. So, even though that officer punching that chick in the face isn't something to be celebrated, my understanding of the situation is that it was a text book case of what happens when you shove a police officer around and generally act like an asshole.

I think the sooner we come to terms with that fact, the better off we'll all be as a society. While no one is a fan of police brutality or giving them carte blanche to whoop ass, the reality is that you are not magically ensconced by the Constitution in any way that would prevent you from being punched in the face. Being legally protected under the law will not keep that row of knuckles from making contact with your head, especially if you're (apparently) trying to damnedest to make that event happen.

People always want to protect the victims of crimes or other unfortunate, avoidable incidents and, while I'm glad "You shouldn't have dressed like that" is socially unacceptable, I think at the same time a victim should ask themselves if they really want to go down that dark alley, while drunk, alone, in an unfamiliar neighborhood, wearing ten grand in jewels. It's a two way street here and I'm of the opinion that while you aren't necessarily to blame for someone else making you into a victim, it's your responsibility as a breathing, thinking human being to take steps to prevent becoming the victim of a fist to the face. You lock your car and your house when you leave them, shouldn't that kind of thinking go towards something like not being socked in the eye by an agitated police officer?

I don't think this is Chris Rock's point at all. I don't think he's letting the cops off and, like what happened with Dave Chapelle, I think a lot of people see his comedy as approval of stupid ideas-- ideas like using the n-word or approving of the police beating people.

The most notable case of this is his famous bit about loving black people, but hating niggers. It hit on a point I think everyone, regardless of race, recognizes and laughs at, but at the same time understands the taboo of using that word in that way. It's funny because he can use the word casually and, as a black guy, say things that a white person could never get away with without being called a racist. A lot of people, though, don't get that and think that "Well if he can say it, then I can say it!" All the while, ignoring the fact that Rock is a black man and a comedian and not a cultural anthropologist, and that he might be speaking with a tinge of irony and a grain of salt.

In the same way he can speak about police beatings in a way that would be overbearing, weird, and kind of fascistic for a white person to say. Chris Rock's point obviously isn't to condemn everyone who ever got hit by a cop. As with the Black People V. Niggas debate, he's striking on a deeper truth using comedy. His point, and we should all remember this one, is that a dumbass is a dumbass, regardless of race.

So, I don't exactly feel sorry for this woman. It's a shame that she got punched for being an idiot, but on the other hand, she got punched in the face for being an idiot. BFD. She'll live and maybe, God willing, she'll heal up to be a slightly wiser woman. Or maybe she'll just develop an even greater sense of entitlement and the lesson of this endeavor will be lost to her like so many weaves (there is a more elaborate joke here, but I can't figure out what it is).

The lesson here is that, if you act like an idiot and sooner or later someone will oblige you with a punch to the face. Every man on earth lives in fear of this fact and, I suppose, in this glass ceiling, equal opportunity world of ours, maybe women should clue into this too. Not being a loud-mouthed asshole in public has a direct effect on whether or not you're going to get your ass-whooped today.

White or black, male or female, right or wrong, if you act like an idiot with a police officer-- especially one who is presumably trying to do their job (I have to assume, the video, like many videos in this style, manage to remove any context or meaning and leave you only with the emotional, gut-wrenching moments)-- You increase your chances of being knocked around. It might not be fair and that cop might be an asshole, but you should have the presence of mind to not be surprised when it happens.

So, I don't know, as a society, why don't we just all agree to this: I won't be an idiot if you won't be.

At least the officer didn't have a "I am a Mother Fucker" t-shirt on.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes, that is the Crab Man from My Name is Earl.

DOUBLE EDITOR'S NOTE: I think the cop was totally in the wrong, by the way, but not for punching that woman. He was in the wrong for giving her a jaywalking ticket. That's chickenshit.

17 June, 2010

The Tragedy of Fame


He makes a good point. Plus, I think he got the last laugh, having never been caught in a public bathroom getting ruddy with a dude-- or was it smoking crack? Ah, who cares, George Michael sucks.

(via World's Best Ever)

The Actual Best Beatle


Your other choices are the heroin addicted egomaniac who married a crazy bitch, the vegetarian egomaniac who married a one-legged, crazy bitch, and the quiet one, who I guess got stabbed once, so that's a bummer.

Even if, in his latter days, he might suffer from Bono Syndrome (a malady which strikes people, forcing them to never remove their sunglasses no matter the day, time, or context).

Hippos are Jerks


Don't ride them. It's an elaborate trick to stomp on your nuts. Actually, it isn't elaborate at all. They'll just knock you down and stomp on your nuts as soon as you come into stomping range.

("From The Marvelous Merry-Go-Round. Little Golden Book first published 1950." Illustration by JP Miller.)

(via this flickr)

Too Many Stupid Articles, That's Why

16 June, 2010

Top Hats Are Stupid


Four out of five mean cats agree!

15 June, 2010

No, manatee!


You're mom is not a sandwich!

14 June, 2010

Swashbuckles. . .

Are the best kind of buckles.
PS: FUCK HIM UP TARZAN! FUCK HIS BUTT UP!

Hey Say You Brade Runnah


"We're not machines, we're physical."

This Guy Knows What's Up


Some people have to work to be considered classy. This man is not one of them.

Click here for the punchline.

It's Like This Every Day

13 June, 2010

DAMN YOU, A BOOOOOOOOOOX!

Scotland Forever!


Wiggum never!

("Scotland Forever" by Lady Butler. 1881.)

Great Cover

For a shitty movie.

Seriously, this movie is long and boring and pointless and you only see Bowie's penis once and even then you have to pause it and do that one-frame-at-a-time move. It's maddening.

Adventures in Badass Motherfuckers


Adrian Carton de Wiart was a soldier, a spy, and a one-armed, one-eyed master of disguise. He served in four wars, was shot in the face, the ankle, the hip, the arm, and the head (and that was only in World War I). He bit off his own fingers when a doctor refused to amputate them.

During WWII his plane was shot down off the coast of Libya and he swam to shore only to be captured by Italian soldiers. While in custody in Italy, he escaped custody for eight days disguised as an Italian peasant despite not being able to speak Italian and looking like an elderly pirate. He was released from prison in 1943 only to go to China to help bash the Japanese's brains in. His personal admirers ranged from Winston Churchill to Chang Kai Shek.

He died at the age of 83. He was a badass motherfucker for the ages.

11 June, 2010

Just Another Piece of Nomad Trash

10 June, 2010

Political Humor!


But seriously, fuck BP in its lame, polluting ass.

09 June, 2010

Rich Victorian Cunts


"I so tire of traveling the world in a dirigible."
"Let's just drink a litre of laudanum instead."
"But, Tess, it isn't even nine in the morning yet."
"It must be somewhere."
"Oh, Tess, it is times like this I am glad I don't have consumption."

Excerpt from Rich Victorian Cunts. Publication date 1885. Care of Haughty Poltroon Weekly Gazette.

08 June, 2010

It's All in the Game

Quick, I need seven-hundred fifty dollars and a ticket to New York City stat.

Pure

Pure from Jacob Bricca on Vimeo.


Here's something worthwhile.

I've Had it Up to Here With Your Freaking "Rules"

Current mood:

When You Absoluetly, Positively Must Get Drunk Immeadiately


It's times like this I'm glad we all bailed their asses out.

Being Remiss in My Duties


I forgot to point out that it was D-Day on Sunday. June 6th, 2010 was the 66th anniversary of the Allied invasion of German-occupied France and the beginning of the end of the Third Reich's hold over Europe. The war had been going on in many fronts, among many nations, but I think that it is safe to say that D-Day was the endgame of the war. Though, it is with the advantages of living in the future that we can say this, at the time no one knew what the fuck was going to happen over there, which is one hell of a thing to be jumping out of a plane or storming a beach over.

Check more photos out at The Big Picture.

07 June, 2010

Shift to Awesome

03 June, 2010

LARPing: What's the Deal?


Live Action Role Playing-- What the heck is it and why? Let's find out, shall we?

01 June, 2010

Before Somebody Points This Out to Me


GET OUT OF MY MIND KIA
RAPPING HAMSTERS SELLING CARS
INVADING MY BRAIN

Galco's is Great


I gotta go there again.

Andy Rooney is a Trillian Years Old and Ornery


I love old people. They're like little, angry peanuts.