15 October, 2010

My Future Home


Home of art director John Holmes (not that John Holmes), designed by William Kirsch, is made entirely from used parts incl. 85 stained glass windows.

I think a lot about what my compound in Montana is going to look like when I strike it big as a successful comic writer/gun-for-hire/explorer/gigolo. I imagine it'll probably have a pool, an armory, and, if I can manage it, something to hold my biplane collection. Basically it'd look like the inside of Wes Anderson's head, except that you wouldn't get annoyed with it after going there for longer than seven hours. It'll also have a tabletop Ms. Pac-Man game. I have to think this way, because I've been spoiled about my living situation since birth.

I come from a rather unusual living situation, which isn't so much that every place I will ever move to is a step down, but that the house I grew up with is the Addam's Family Manor. It's covered from top to bottom with taxidermied animals and has more ancient wood in it than the Playboy Mansion (Hi-yo!). There are few places that measure up to it, especially when you're as weird as I happen to be.

I want my future home to be lousy with decapitated animals and muzzle-loaded weaponry. That's just who I am.

I'd love this house a lot more if it wasn't for my folks. If only there was a way to live there without having to deal with them-- I know! Murder! Thank you, internet, you always know what I need to hear.