The Dumbest Odyssey

On Sunday I'll be entering into a two week long expedition into the heart of America. I will be doing so with my father. We'll be driving the entire way, from Pasadena, California on into North Dakota and maybe even Canada.

Why would I be doing this with my father? We're going to be hunting antiques.

Yup.

It's been something that's he's been wanting to do for years. In fact, we had planned to do this trip last year, but it never quite came together. It wasn't until a tax return and sheer attrition finally got this ball rolling. This sort of trek is something my dad has been doing for years, since he was even younger than I am now. He would saddle up and drive through Colorado and the Dakotas and all of these places alone hunting for what he calls "moose parts." He was incredibly successful.

I don't know what we'll find out there. Probably nothing. Obviously my dad hopes that he's going to find artifacts that never got picked over or stolen away by the internet age. For me, I just hope to get some writing done and maybe see something out there worth writing about.

I remember the last time we went on a successful trip. I say "successful" because we once went on a trip to San Francisco that ended outside of Bakersfield when our radiator blew up. The next eight hours was us riding in a tow truck back home.

We drove up the PCH the entire way listening to Johnny Cash. It was magical. Nothing but plains and mountains and the ocean all the while Johnny Cash moaning about prison and dying. For me, it was great. Then my dad said, "I can't listen to any more Johnny Cash."

Because that's what a trip with your dad through California is like and, honestly, he was right to call me on that bullshit.

Anyways, if you have any questions or what me to post anything specifically, let me know.

Also I need a male to male USB cable right now, no bullshit. I need one bad. Mission critical shit here. Hook me up, damnit.