10 June, 2013

The Snackening: Road Trip Journal Part I

I want to talk to you kids about something important: The Squatch.

Where can I get this? Where did you get this? Why don't I have any now? Did you take my sweet Squatch?

Let's slow down, pilgrim, and see what their press release has to say:

Harvested from the flesh of free-range bigfoots and mixed with the finest of secret Oriental spices,  Link Jack's "Squatch" represents the next generation of meat stick products. Squatch Stick: Shove in your face.

Who could resist a sales pitch like that? It's like reading fine poetry.

Let me tell you, if you like chewing, I have a snack-like food product for you. Not only is it full of all sorts of spicy tastes, looking at the nutritional information you will also

We hit the 600 mile mark exactly upon entering the town of Scipion, which I think is named for a famous Roman battle that took place here. Upon checking into our hotel my dad and I were told that this was a dry town. Before we could bolt the desk clerk told us that he might have two beers in storage that he just had left over and gave them to us. And if this couldn't get any more Mormon, one of the signs on the desk had a hand-written addendum "Please" taped onto it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've a continental breakfast to polish off.